Why Your Boss Does Not Seem to Understand You


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Why is it that other people do not seem to understand you? Why is it that your boss does not see what you see? What is it that they do not recognize what is obvious to you?

This happens in different organizations in varying situations. What could be the reason why?

Before we answer that, let me issue an important instruction: Do not be quick to think that the other person is not cooperating. Do not be quick to assume that the other person has a different agenda. Do not be quick to label the person as stupid. Be quick rather to pause, ponder, and consider his perspective.

Because the reason why he does not see what you see is exactly that — he does not see what you see. You two may have two different perspectives. Both of you may be looking at the same thing but from different points of view or vantage points.

For example, you may be facing a problem now (say, Problem XYZ). You and your boss may be examining the same problem but he may be looking at the view on the right while you are looking at the view on the left. He might be engrossed at the bigger and wider picture while you may be focused on the small intricate details. Yes, you are looking at the same thing but you are seeing different things.

How should you proceed then?

The key is understanding that there are different perspectives and to consider these in the decision making process. The call is to see how you can balance them — considering all concerned parties yet still putting primacy to the common goal and the common good.

With this is the requirement for clear communication. Individuals involved should express effectively what they see, how they feel, and what they think. They should also listen and understand what the other individuals see, feel, and think. And look at how they can come together to come up with a solution that will benefit them and the organization as a whole.

The next time you ask, “Why does he not see what I see?” Ask (the person involved), “Why do you see it that way? What do you propose? How about we consider this point of view?”

What do you think?

(Chris Dao-anis, CPA, DTM is a leadership trainer, presentations coach, and an author of 4 books including ‘SPEAK: How to Craft and Deliver a Speech or Presentation with Competence and Confidence’. Get his book for free by attending the SPEAK 2.0 Intensive Public Speaking Workshop on June 15. Register now at http://bit.ly/SpeakBaguio. Meet good people who also want to grow at the Growth Summit 2019; sign up now at http://bit.ly/growthsummitph.)