How to Be Confident

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Confidence is a key ingredient to achievement – no matter what area that would be. Last Sunday, we have talked about how confidence can take you to levels of performances, to places of growth, to persons of success who can mentor, and to your purpose.

The question now then is how to be confident. Let me offer three basic steps:

First, call your specialness. Each of us has personality and potential that is different from the rest. We have to quit comparing and start recognizing, appreciating and developing our specialness.

We have this tendency to compare ourselves with others. With our looks alone, we often see what is portrayed on TV as beautiful and we try to blend in. If we do not fit into ‘their’ standards, our sel-image is damage and so our confidence is also damaged. While it is important to look good, we have to understand that looking good varies per person depending on the features of that person. I know this because for a long time in the past, I looked at myself as ugly until I realized that I have my own ‘good’ looks.

Another consideration is that we have different personalities. Some are bubblier and some are not. Some are more outgoing and some are not. Some are more outspoken and some are not. But this does not mean that those who are more bubbly, outgoing and outspoken are better than those who are more introverted. I thank Susan Cain who gave me a different perspective on being an introvert – that introverts regain their energy in quiet often solitary times but it does not mean they cannot be outspoken and outgoing when the situation calls for it. They can speak with confidence too when they choose to.

Third consideration is the differences in potential. We have to recognize our own intelligences. We have our different gifts. Looking at the multiple intelligences alone makes us realize that each person is gifted. Some are good in numbers while some in words. Some are good in theater and music while some in painting and drawing. Some do well in gymnastics and physical activities while some in mental disciplines. Some are good in conceptualizing while some are good in craftsmanship. We have to identify what are potentials are.

When we understand that we are special, we will be able to start building our self-image and our confidence.

Second, command your skills. We have to prepare ourselves for growth and enhanced confidence by learning more and polishing our talents, skills and abilities.

Brendon Burchard would always refer to what psychology tells: the confidence-competence loop, that the more competent you are, the more confident you become, and the more confident you become, the more competent you will be. It goes on and on – the more competence, the more confidence, the more confidence, the more competence.

It is then important that we prepare and polish our competencies. Let us gain more knowledge and skills. We have to study – be it formal schooling or self-learning. Enrol in courses. Read books. Attend seminars. Join workshops. Meet mentors. Call coaches. Find a way to learn new skills and enhance your skills.

Third, cast yourself. It is not enough to know your being special and to add your skills. We also have to practice them, put ourselves out there and perform in the stage of life.

There are people who just keep on practicing in their own yards but they never perform outside. They prevent themselves from delivering the product of their practice. They don’t perform. They don’t cast themselves.

When we do not put ourselves in real life settings, we miss out and we miss the essence of steps 1 and 2. And we will never be able to gain the confidence that we need and wanted.

To gain results of these steps, we have to cast ourselves. We have to begin even in small stages, even if it will not be perfect, even if we will commit mistakes. That’s the point. We begin and we move forward. But it will never happen if we don’t go for the first move.

Confidence, they say, is a skill because it can be learned. It can be developed. May these three simple fundamental steps help you to become more confident. Remember to call your specialness, command your skills, and finally cast yourself!

(Chris Dao-anis/CPA, as an author and speaker, helps aspiring and young professionals become better communicators and leaders. He is the 2016 2nd Runner Up of Toastmasters District 75 [Philippines] International Speech Contest. His first book ‘The Gift of the Ordinary’ is available at Mt. Cloud Bookshop, Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Road, Baguio City and in Central Books in Cebu and Metro Manila. For other resources, visit www.chrispoweracademy.com. For seminars, talks or speech coaching, email chrisdaoanis@gmail.com.)

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