Housewives Scoff


Sometimes, or too often, we, the husbands are afflicted by the disease of “being highly opinionated,” even when our opinions are awry of off-tangent, to the chagrin or amusement of housewives.

Last week, a large group of ordinary and harried housewives, “kidnapped” Ah Kong, tossed   him unceremoniously inside a car, hustled him before a training hall and ordered Ah – on pains of him being whacked by broomsticks of the housewives – to please, pretty please, teach them how to communicate their thoughts in writing.

So unraveled an occasion of how housewives –  filled up to the brim of our uncharacteristic ideas or behavior –  can also take a dig at us heartily and give us a dose of our own medicine.

Housewives can also be highly opinionated, regardless, too, of whether their opinions are awry of off-tangent.

After a whole day of teach-in, in communicating thoughts in writing, Ah requested them to do a letter-writing exercise, like they are writing to Ah and griping about their husbands, and written in two pages’ coupon bond.

Now, don’t take Ah wrong. These housewives love their husbands dearly no matter what their faults are. But moments transpire when housewives are really pissed off by their husbands they throw their hands in the air in exasperation.

Here, Ah selected some of the housewives’ writings, edited, but their thoughts exactly retained and excerpts of their writings calibrated for emphasis.

“Dear Bony B.___, este, Ah Kong,”

“My husband thinks he’s a writer but I don’t think so. He has this wrong idea that women can’t write. I find this awful every time my husband brings this up during family talks, or whenever I exercise my reasonable prerogative or execute my duties as housewife in my station at home.”

“I say to him in my letter addressed to you: Humph! Housewives generally employ their time to better purpose than scribbling. The comforts and cares of a family come first and rest principally on the shoulders of housewives.”

“Therefore, it is that there are a few female writers; and husbands, knowing how necessary they need our attention, take every opportunity of discouraging literary competence of the housewife.”

“Often, we hear it echoed by other husbands – My wife cannot write, but she cooks tasty pinakbet and adobo. She cannot correct what congressmen and senators say on TV, but she can correct her children with admirable discretion. She cannot unravel political intricacies but she definitely can clean house.”

“And this husbands call praising a wife and doing justice to her character?  Pooh, pooh! Ah Kong, I don’t think so. Thank you very much and hoping my long letter finds space in your column. Signed, Monica Altera,” from Baguio City.

Trinidad Rabang, from La Union but resides in Baguio, spells out her thoughts about husbands’ impertinence.

“Some husbands are generally inattentive to the decencies of life and housewives shouldn’t be amenable to that.”

“Some husbands are filthy creatures, by nature, “Trinidad continues.   “Were it not for the connection with their wives who refine, polish and influence their lives, etong mga   asawa natin would wallow in filth and their noxious vapors would infect populations in CAR and Region 1.”

Thirdly, the writings of   Melinda Dumyat from Benguet.  “It’s the tirelessness and attention of housewives that prevent husbands from degenerating into mere swine.”

“How important are the services we render to them, and yet for these services, we are often made the subject of fun and ridicule. Thank you very much Ah Kong. Sincerely, Melinda.”

Here comes Perfida Gayundec from Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR), living in La Trinidad, happily married and sometimes miffed by her hubby.

“Sir, I do assure you that sometimes husbands are nauseous creatures and it is enough provoke a saint to see how we, the housewives are treated by the men.”

Perfida goes on: “Let me see now, there is this, my husband, a good enough sort of a man. But I will give you a sample of him.”

Perfida then related of a day she was knitting and in comes her husband who begun to gripe about the yarn atop their dining table where Perfida was doing her knitting.

Her husband ordered her to clear away the table, as he was going to do some experiment. She did as was bidden.

Three hours later, and although Perfida understood not what her husband was doing, it was clear her husband failed to accomplish something in his so-called experiment.

Instead, Perfida’s dining table was stained by wet paint, two of her precious bowls were broken, many of her spoons were stained with paint, litter was scattered on the floor and her husband completely fatigued by failure, which she called the failed artist.

“I must confess, with good reason, that I was happy he didn’t succeed in his endeavor of painting. Why so? He could have done his painting somewhere in our house, but definitely not on my polished dining table made of pine. But sometimes, being highly opinionated, he doesn’t listen to reason,” Perfida ended her writing, in a passion.

Now here’s the writing of Salvacion Lamsis, from Benguet.

She writes to say that, “Sir, the reason why husbands are often called literary men is that they make a great litter; not on word more.”

Husbands, Salvacion complains, truck in dirt to the house, stain the sofa with their smell of liquor and tobacco, grunt with displeasure when the TV conks out, put their feet on Sala sets, disarrange things, etc.

“Think, Sir, of what a housewife must endure under such circumstances, when, after scouring and scrubbing the house clean, in comes your husband to make you do the housecleaning again. It is more than patience can put up with,” Salvacion laments.

What Salvacion was trying to shape in her writing practice was that what husbands do sometimes are but a small specimen of foolishness they sustain from the boasted superiority of men, but they will not be discouraged out of their cleanliness.

They will have patience on a monument, smiling at the foolhardiness of their husbands, notwithstanding the unintended provocation of our foolishness.

Salvacion is of the opinion that when we, husbands go out of the house, so much the better. For they are upon a thorough cleanliness drive at home.

And the first dirty thing to be removed by a housewife who is cleaning, is one’s husband.

And to this, Ah gladly says, “Fair enough. Kick out all the husbands from the house when housewives are cleaning. Including Ah, op kors. ”