Happy Valentine’s Day! (For the Singles too!)

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This is the day when couples or those in a relationship (normally) are so happy. On the other hand, this is the day when ‘singles’ get gloomy. Why is that?  Is it because they realize that they want to be ‘in a relationship’ and while people around are having their dates and special nights, they realize that they are alone and they are single? That’s probably the case.

But singles don’t have to be lonely on Valentine’s Day. Being alone does not necessarily mean being ‘lonely.’ Being solo does not mean being ‘so low.’ We – singles – can also be happy today!

In fact, happiness does not depend on our civil status or Facebook status. Happiness is a choice, a continuous choice.

Relationship experts declare: If you are not happy as a single, you will not be happy when you ‘enter a relationship.’ Two happy singles entering a relationship will make a happy relationship. Two sad singles entering a relationship will make a sad relationship. Thus, let us be happy so when we enter a relationship, we will be happier. If we are lonely as a single, let us not expect that the ‘happiness spell’ will cast a magic joy when we enter a relationship.

Yes, you want to be ‘in a relationship’ but you don’t have to be miserable while waiting, while looking for, or while pursuing your one true love. Be reminded that ‘being single’ has lots of gifts with it and perhaps you are single today because you are meant to be single for now. (Let’s reserve ‘being single for a lifetime’ in another article.)

Let me share three gifts of being single and hopefully this will help you become happy today:

First, the gift of flexibility. When you are single, you have more flexibility to explore the world, pursue your passions, try things out and do the things you want to do. Not that you lose flexibility when you enter a relationship – there could still be a certain level of flexibility – but there would be more factors to consider as compared to when you were single.

Second, the gift of foundation. This season of life allows us to firm up our foundation for a good relationship. This is the best time for us to get to know ourselves more – our values, our passions, our strengths. This is the best time for us to discover and clarify what we want to do, be, and achieve in life. I guess this would prevent us from breaking up from a relationship with the reason, “I need to find myself.” Were you a victim of that reason? Hopefully not. This is the season to find ourselves – or better say, to know more and become ourselves.

Third, the gift of (the move to) freedom. This is a good time to heal painful past. Any painful past, when not processed, could be a poison that manifest in the life of a person and gets magnified when the person gets into a relationship. Were there hurts and abuses you had suffered as a child? Do you need to forgive and let go of someone who wronged you? Do you still have unsettled father or mother issues? There are activities in churches and organizations that could be of help heal these past – maybe a retreat or a recollection. Maybe a good book on healing could help. (I recommend ‘Your Past Does Not Define Your Future’ by Bo Sanchez and ‘Be Free From Painful Memories and Traumas in 30 Minutes’ by Jojo Apolo. ‘The Road Less Travelled’ by M. Scott Peck is also phenomenal.) The help of a priest, a pastor, or a professional therapist maybe needed to. (The bottom line: God’s love heals.)

Being ‘single’ offers a lot of opportunities to explore the world and also to explore ourselves – to become better versions of ourselves. So that when we meet ‘the one’ – we hope and pray that we are prepared to commit to that what we call ‘#forevermore.’

So don’t be lonely if you are alone today. Don’t be ‘so low’ if you are going solo today. Grab this opportunity to make the best out of it and make the best out of you today. Tap on the gift of this ‘season of singleness’ – the gifts of flexibility, foundation, and freedom.

Happy Valentine’s Day! And yes, I’m greeting the ‘singles’ also! (Pray for me as I pray for you.)

(Chris Dao-anis/CPA, as an author and speaker, helps aspiring and young professionals become better communicators and leaders. His first book ‘The Gift of the Ordinary’ is available at Mt. Cloud Bookshop, Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Road, Baguio City and in Central Bookstores (Cebu and Metro Manila). For seminars and resources, visit www.chrispoweracademy.com or email chrisdaoanis@ymail.com.)

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