Dimpled smiles


Last week, various precinct stations of Baguio City Police Office (BCPO) like Stations 4 & 8 responded to “Oplan Brigada Eskwela,” the women and men officers helping prepare public schools for the influx of youth coming back to school.

Same week, very heartening seeing Patrolwoman Angelita T. Bab-anga of Station 4 supervised by PCPT Julius B. Luis, handing back a lost Motorola cellphone to the rightful owner.

BCPO just keeps stacking up feathers in the cap!

Feeling, or being sensible, as applied to any of us, consists in the dimple of sensation which pleasure or pain will create. No argument about that.

With respect to feeling, if we are to relate it to thinking, well, that question is worthy of attention.

As often said by many, “Apay napanonot mo nu anya ti riknak?” (Have you thought about how I feel?). Then that many saying that would either smile or pout, as the case may be upon the situation when such statement was uttered.

Discover how often such happens:

Here’s a true story, happened last Sunday when Ah Kong was unceremoniously invited to attend a   birthday party in La Trinidad, Benguet, in the house of a friend. We identify this friend as A.

Women in attendance in the party and definitely experts in the art of chatter, grouped themselves and happily gossiped, to exercise their jaws.

Males in attendance also grouped themselves, appreciating a bottle filled with something to thaw deadened feelings and talked about politics, current events, and “what have you?”

Since men are more keen on listening rather than yakking, they overheard the women whispering then metamorphosing afterwards into shrieking laughter.

For the women were entertaining themselves with a puzzle. Now, readers, word of caution, don’t be green-minded or entertain any green thought about what the women were laughing about.

Their puzzle: “What’s in front of a woman which is in the back of a cow?”

Give up? How easily you give up. Answer to the women’s puzzle is the letter W. (W in front of the word woman and W at the end of the word, cow).

Not to be outdone, Pildo Ocaben, 63, lowlander and engaged in fish supply for the highlands, said to the group of men, within hearing distance of the women:

“Malagip ko diay kailyak nga taga baba nga nagbalin OFW (overseas worker).”

The men kept their silence, waiting for Pildo’s story. He poured wine into his cup, drank it then continued: “Daytoy kailyak nga adda abroad, nagtawag ken baken na ket nagsaludsud.”

OFW husband: “Kumusta kayon dita, baket?”

Mrs.: “Ayos met, lakay.”

OFW husband: “Kumusta diay jeep pampasada nga ginatang ko?”

Mrs.: “Ay, mayat lakay, nagbalinen nga van, agbibiyahe papan Halsema Road.”

OFW husband: “Ayna, mayat a, ket diay bassit a kantina tayo ngay?”

Mrs.: “Ay mayat, nagbalinen a panganan.”

OFW husband: “Wow! Mayat a damag. Ket kumusta ni Dayunyor, idiay agmaymaysa nga anak ta?  Unay iliw ko kenkwana.”

Mrs.: “Ay, lakay ko, dayta ti kamayatan nga kayat ko ipadamag kenyam, ta addan duwa a kabsat na!”

“Manipod idin, idi nagawid isu ditoy ‘Pinas, nagpatubo ti barbas na, ta kunana agbalin la isun nga ermitanyu. Ti problema, idi nagkabarbas, isu metten panangkamat ti babbalasang kenkwana, a kuna dagiti babbalasang, ay nag-gwapo ken nag-taer!” Pildo said, ending his story.

The women, hearing Pildo, pouted, unbelieving. One of them commented, “Hoy, kayong mga lalaki, depende lang sa yong merong balbas,” which elicited laughter from the men.

Another woman announced in English, “Tse! A beard is an ornament worn by a “kalding,” (goat) and most particularly a humor columnist in the Herald Express,” the woman pointing her pouting chin at Ah’s direction, to the glee of all.

Talking about beards, should it be left to grow or be shaved, or, is a beard handsomer than a long one?

Such questions are, indeed, important as these have been the subject of argument and battle among members of the fairer sex.

Ah contends that beards should be left to grow to hide the handsomeness and the alluring dimples of men.

Ah says to all that as an example, just set a glance on the face of our own Baguio City Vice mayor, the merry Atty. Faustino Olowan.

We all know that our vice-mayor is strikingly handsome. No doubt about that.

But in order for our vice-mayor’s handsomeness not to distract too much the women, he had decided to grow a beard – for it to also hide his cute dimples that can easily sweep women off their feet.

Another in the group, Asper Laron, 62, a lowlander, explained, it’s a difficult question to resolve, since after so many ages, we see in Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR) and in Region 1 with beards, as without.

Could it be that taste, not chance, the reason for influencing the destiny of beards? But then, history of beards, from that of Moses to the present prove quite the contrary.

Many Benguet gentlemen, constant in practice of wearing beards, have no dispute on this point, Ah pointed out.

When they don cowboy hats, cowboy boots and cowboy clothing replete with their beards, oho, as if you’re witnessing local western cowboys strutting about.

Ah swears on the graves of his forebears these Benguet cowboys, as well as others in CAR and Region 1 are the only people on earth who never had quarrels or wars on this point about beards.

Ah jestingly recommended during that Sunday for the men to consult women, and it’s probable, repeat, very probable, women may declare in favor of a beard, but as to what sort of beard will please their sights might degenerate into their argument.

In midst of the happy conversation, the mother of the celebrant, her son, came over to the men group and sought her husband, our friend A.

She made a sign for A to come near her, which A did.

Then she said to A, her husband, which the men heard, “Ayna, lakay, diay kaaruba tayu nga babae dita bangir, diay ngay rum-rumwar a kanayon nu sumepngeten ti lubong nu anya ti papa-panana? Nag-pa-check-up kanu idiay Baguio Hygiene Clinic ket naduktalan nga adda sakit na nga STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease). Positive isuna! Naamwak ta immay diay  kabsat na  kenyak agbul-bulod ti kwarta. Pinabulodakon ken nangted nak pay ti makan.”

Hearing these, A, turned away from his wife, merely nodding. But the men sensed his discomfiture, his sudden shift of moroseness apparent in his eyes.

Evening coming to shoo away the remaining afternoon light, Ah gave farewell, leaving the celebrant’s house. But A discreetly followed him and said, “Ah, ammok nga nabayag ka nagtrabaho idiay Department of Health – Cordillera Administrative Region kas Public Information Officer (PIO) ti DOH-CAR. . . Adda kuma ibagak. . .”

Then he went on to admit he   had illicit sexual encounters with that woman whom her wife was talking about. A revealed the woman solicited sex for a fee.

A was pleading to Ah what he should do.

Now, Ah has his own faults, far greater than anyone out there, no doubt about that. It happens he has the most sins than many men combined he might as well be a candidate for the electric chair.

But hearing A did, Ah got dismayed.

“Tulungan nak man, pards,” A pleaded.

“Agsao ke metten, Ah, “A said to Ah. Ah sighed deeply.

“Anya kayat mo ibagak kenyam, nga umannugot nak ti inaramid mo?” Ah countered in frustration and told A how he selfishly cared only about himself and totally disregarded his family’s welfare.

Ah said, “Anya ka metten aya, pards, nakasay-sayaat ni baket mo ken dagiti uub-bing mo, ngem di mo pinanunot dayta. Mismo a pamilyam ti binastos mo!  Ayna, nu sarsarita kuma ta matinnag la ngaruden dayta parte ti bagim nga mapan mo ipas- pastor, wen-nen! kasanu ngay ittata ti sitwasyon ni baket mo?”

Ah as you often read, Ah likes to poke merry fun at the fairer sex. But this time, he is their defender.  And he said to A no argument is required to prove what he did was selfishness which turned to complete injury for A’s wife.

For feeling or being sensible, consist in the sensation which pleasure or pain will create. And the signs on the wall point out the pain he inflicted on his wife and children, as well.

Ah lamented to A “Pinanunot mo umuna kuma ni baket mo ken ti ubbing mo sakbay linmagto ka. Ad-adda ti rikna da masakitan. Nu mabalin la kuma sapli-tek ti obet mo, ngem baka maidarom ak ti child abuse, este adult abuse!”

Then Ah advised A he reveal his treachery to his wife and that both shall go to the Baguio Hygiene Clinic for medical check-up. Either that, or the health of their family was in jeopardy.

For if A won’t reveal what he did, how in tarnation can he explain to his wife his urgency for both of them to be subjected to medical examination?

A kept silent, but nodding in agreement.

Ending talk with A, Ah gently kidded his friend, A, saying, “Ken karosam mon dayta barbas mo, isu pay a problema ni baket mo.”

Then Ah strode off into the night, his befuddled mind failing to find answer to the sign begging in the darkness to ask, “why can’t everyday find us, better mortals?”