Married to . . .

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Last Sunday’s early morning, as mist was still in tight embrace and romantically kissing passionately with Baguio’s   dew-laden environment, a group of enterprising adults waited in deadly ambush for a bearded and cranky fellow whistling his way towards Burnham Park for a week-end exercise.

As the fellow rounded Harrison Road’s right bend alongside Melvin Jones Grandstand, the ambushers sprang on the poor fellow, one, gleefully shouting, “Aha! We finally caught you at last. You, the conjurer of hearty tales in Herald Express’s Daily Laborer column that many giggle, reading it.”

“Have mercy and free me,” pleaded the bearded fellow. The ambushers said they will only, on one condition.

“What’s that condition, aber?” the bearded fellow inquired of them.

One of them, said, “Ah Kong, Sir, release you, we will, but promise to write a merry piece about marrying with the same sex or marriage with the opposite sex!”

“Oh, Christ Almighty,” Ah sobbed before them and whined, “Why do you enter me upon the most difficult subject, which I have no occasion or knowledge of and couldn’t lay the foundation of constructing the topic!”

“Very well, then. You refuse, eh?” one the ambushers leader growled.  He produced a pair of scissors, told his co-ambushers, “Grab his neck, he refuses our demand we cut off his manliness!”

Shrieking in freight, Ah acceded to their demand, for he still values his God-given gender.

Yet, since it’s a great discouragement to Ah to try to run a race he’s going to lose, he’ll try his best and impartially proceed in what he takes will be a general amusement on said topic, as knowing, however, ‘tis very impossible to please everybody.

We first start on pleasures of real matrimony. What’s dat, anyway. In a nutshell, it’s the tie that binds, or wedding, of a man and a woman, or, of the opposite sex.

It’s often called wedlock.

Desire of matrimony, being embedded in the natures of both men and women and there’s nothing so coveted by both sexes, for which reason, is highly esteemed in our Cordillera Administrative Region and Region 1, ever since.

If it wasn’t for matrimony, who, but a bachelor would take such a tedious and sometimes forlorn journey of courting a single lady to woo as his wife?

Many Cordillerans and lowlanders hold an opinion on the comforts of matrimony. They say, “The way to matrimony is more pleasant than the journey’s end.”

Fine, fine. But oooops, hold it there for a minute, for Ah says otherwise, murmuring, “The proof of the cake is in the eating!”

Because, as to the matter of matrimony, sure, we must be that he’s a He, who intends to marry by setting his attention on somebody he intends to live with, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part.”

And that somebody must be a living person made of flesh and blood, and of the Female Sex. That’s the proof of the cake in the eating.

But how would you react, upon discovering a He, trying to woo or is in hot pursuit of another he, and intending to exchange marriage vows with that he.

In like manner, it too, happens there have been, and will happen again, of instances of a She trying to woo or is in hot pursuit of another she, and intending to exchange marriage vows with that she.

We see, upon the whole matter, the above exactly happening nowadays, one of the many reasons maybe why there’s a term coined LGBT, to stand for lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender.

To put it on record: Daily Laborer Column has no issue whatsoever on LGBT. If some want to pursue happiness the way they want it, so be it. Amen.

Bear in mind, however there are laws in the Philippines that govern the matter on matrimony.

At present, the Family Code of the Philippines states in Articles 1 and 2 and 147, respectively,” Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents are governed by law and not subject to stipulation, except that marriage settlements may fix the property relations during the marriage within the limits provided by this Code.”

If one’s to understand what the Code talks about, it simply means under present and existing law, same sex (woman and woman or man and man) marriage isn’t allowed.

Otherwise and bluntly re-stated, our country doesn’t offer any legal recognition to same sex marriage, civil unions or domestic partnership.

Not until a law is passed and signed by President Rodrigo Duterte reversing the present situation. Until then, the existing law shall prevail and takes dominion over other arguments, legal or otherwise.

So that this natural propensity of union between man and woman may not go slack, nature, so broad-minded, attended to it with delights and pleasures that make it difficult to hinder the ardent flame of matrimony.

For these causes therefore, and for some others, too boring you might say, to relate, and notwithstanding all the fine things said about matrimony, its charming comforts and endearing complacencies, there is still an outcry against it.

Some believe matrimony is the grand source and well spring of mischief, and sometimes render life itself, scarce worth the living.

Some men have been known to have ran a wanton madness of liberty, before being led like docile lambs into the state of matrimony.

To distinguish between matrimony’s discomfort and comfort, and recover the false imputations heaped upon it, be reminded that matrimony by two persons of the opposite sex is the rarest privilege of harassing and spying on each other and the husband forgetting about marriage anniversary and wife’s birthday.

Now on the issue of Man, feeling she’s a woman, thus demanding privilege accorded to women, like getting married to another man, or described differently, a real man but feeling like a woman, and wanting to marry another man.

And why such a man accepting to get married to the same gender who’s feeling like a she.

Or in the case of females, a Woman, feeling like a man and wanting to get married to a real woman.

And why such woman accepting to get married to the same gender who’s feeling like a he.

These issues have serious underpinnings because it cuts along sensitive issues, in like manner these raise issues on matrimony.

For example, let’s dwell on the public toilet used by women and usually on its door, the sign, “For Women,” is posted.

Let’s assume a Man, feeling like a woman and believing he’s a She, demands to enter a   public toilet for women. What would happen?

Of course, it will cause consternation and anger among real women.

When inside the toilet of the women, the Man who believes he’s a She, will he squat or lower himself when he urinates? Because for real women, lowering themselves is the God-given natural way in urinating or relieving themselves.

Or, will the Man believing he’s a She, stand, in the course of urinating? Standing being the God-given natural way for men in urinating or relieving themselves.

Remember, too, that urinals of women in public toilets are constructed in a delicate way to afford women the best comfort   when in the process of relieving themselves of urine.

And when a male, believing he’s a She, stand on the urinal of the women and urinate, he’ll be splashing urine on the women’s urinal.

There were also cases of male believing he’s a She, entered women’s public toilet and instead of urinating, were discovered, peeping.

Such an ordeal happened to Tessa Subbing, from the lowlands, and who happened to be one among those who ambushed Ah Kong on his way to Burnham Park that Sunday. She narrated her incident.

Tessa said she was urinating one time in a public toilet in La Union when a person she described as “bakla,” entered. She was down on the urinal and in a vulnerable position.

But instead of urinating, the “bakla” stared and ogled at her maliciously, and even had the temerity to tell Tessa, “Sige lang, umihi ka. Tutal, pareho naman tayong babae.”

Tessa said what happened totally insulted and debased her wholeness. She wanted to hit that person during the incident but was afraid for the man was muscularly built. All she was able to do was shout, “Bastos” to him before she left the toilet.

Tessa poured her feeling to Ah, and said, “Sir, Huwag naman sana nilang ipilit ang hindi tama. Ang palikuran pambabae ay dapat para sa mga tunay na babae lamang. Hindi eto diskriminasyon. Eto ay pagpapakita ng paggalang sa dignidad ng mga tunay na babae. Nilikha tayo ng Diyos ayon sa ating kasarian. Bakit meron ang gustong palitan? Ibig ba sabihin, ang kasarian ay choice?”

Another, Garion Gaquites, highlander, in the group of enterprising adults for that Sunday talk, bluntly said, “Sir, Ah, siguro ta ma-solve ti problema panggep ti public toilet nga adda tatak na nga for Men and for Women, ngem adda latta lalaki nga mangkayat sumrek ti toilet ti babae ta ipilit da isuda ket feeling woman da.”

“Anya ngay ti maaramid nga kasayaatan?” Ah returned the question to Garion.

“Kastoy, Sir, to stop once and for all the malicious intents of males who profess publicly they feel they are women and enter public toilets of women, signs to be put up on the toilets of women should bear the word “vagina,” and for toilet of men will have the word, “penis, to specifically distinguish the real person and the fake.”

“Medyo adda siguro pagka-bastos ti recomendasyon ko, Sir, Ah, ngem if you really think scientifically about it, it will totally put a stop to shenanigans of fake characters in our midst,” Garion explained.

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